By R. Inkrat, Special Report to the Boston Globe
FALMOUTH, MAINE, OCTOBER 5, 2011 - FBI Special Agents have retrieved the famed Cardinal Richelieu Cup, which has been the object of an international search for several weeks, when Gold Weasel Richard "Gidge" Veilleux was stopped as he attempted to board a cruise ship in Portland harbor.
"Gidge" Veilleux (right) reads a congratulatory telegram
"We had targeted this subject for a number of days," said Special Agent Richard Tracy of the Boston office of the Federal Bureau of Investigation. Morning Hockey Club officials expressed relief that the sacred object had been found and would soon be returned safely to MHC custody. "I'm relieved," said ombudsman Donald "Donnie" Simms after this morning's contest, which saw Blue somehow rally from a 4-0 deficit to win 7-6 on a Travis Phillips marker late in the game. In an unusual move, the clubs engineered a mid-game trade, that send Walt "The Wall" Leland to Blue and the always plucky Dave Jefferson to Gold.
The details of Veilluex's arrest and release have not been made clear, but our understanding is that he has been released on personal recognizance on condition he returns the Cup within 24 hours. He spoke briefly to reporters as he left the United States Court House in Portland.
"The sacred cup is in my possession and I am loath to relinquish it," he explained, "actually I brought it to hockey yesterday and there were no Weasels of Gold upon whom to bestow the honor. Those present claimed to have already had the awesome receptacle in their possession and were not inclined to shoulder once again the responsibility." Observers had to agree that it is a grave responsibility to have possession of the coveted Cup. Mental health professionals consulted in the Veilleux matter have opined that it is understandable a spirited player like Veilleux could become so fixated with the Cup, a relic of such powerful appeal, that he would refuse to give it up and even try to abscond with it.
All Weasel players, with one notable and sad exception (WE ALL KNOW WHO HE IS), have taken the responsibility with the appropriate reverence.
No one was more relieved at the apprehension of the cup hoarder that Weasel Matt Fitzgerald, who had also been high on the FBI's suspect list after hoisting the Cup in front of Portland City Hall at a huge celebration rally a few weeks ago. He had insisted that he had returned the flagon, but FBI Special Agents had scheduled an "interview" with him for tomorrow. Also relieved was flashing Weasel forward Ryan Foresman, who had been protesting his innocence in the affair.
Asked when the Cup would actually be returned, Veilleux said, "I'll plan to convey the Cardinal's cup to the [MHC] clinic on Wednesday night, where once again you may bask in its presence."
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