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| Secunde Celebrates, But Did His Sacrilege Jinx the Weasels? |
By R. Inkrat, Special to O Magazine
FALMOUTH, MAINE, NOVEMBER 7, 2011 - A weary Jim "Redlight" Secunde slowly peeled off his goalie gear in the locker room at the famed Family Ice Center in Falmouth, Maine, this morning, wistfully reflecting on the glory days just a few months ago when his Gold Weasels won the coveted Cardinal Richelieu Cup in Morning Hockey Club playoff competition. Secunde (pictured above with the Cup in less than suitable display) had anchored the Gold Weasel four-game sweep of the Blue Dogs in Cup play last summer.
"Did you notice the newspaper in my picture last summer," Secunde moaned as he tried to come to terms with the Weasels' 8-1 drubbing this morning at the hands of the Blue Dogs, led by a four goal tour de force by Frank Cerullo. "Flying Frank" had found the range on Secunde who, despite the score, played very well in the loss. But he was clearly thin king back to the playoffs and wondering what has gone wrong.
In the photo above, the headline reads, "Weasels, Champ Again." Apparently someone at the Portland Press Herald does not know that words in the head have to agree in number, but leaving that aside, Secunde apparently is still clinging to that former glory. But many observers think that the string of wins by the Blue Dogs since then could be attributable, at least in part, to Secunde's shameful mistreatment of the Sacred Cup as shown in this picture.
He was fined $1 billion by the Club last July for this misconduct and as far as anyone knows is still working that fine off. The "O" network is planning to have Secunde on an upcoming show with Oprah Winfrey and special guest Dr. Phil in hopes that someone can lift Secunde, and thus the Gold Weasel club itself, from its funk. "I just don't know what's gone wrong," Secunde said, "I don't even know who I am any more." The hockey world is with you, Jimmy, hoping you find your way (but only after Blue wins the Cup the next time).
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