Hockey World Breaths a Deep Sigh of Relief - Despite NHL Lockout There Will Be Playoff Hockey!

By R. Inkrat, special to the New York Times

FALMOUTH, MAINE - With an apparent NHL lockout looming, hockey fans around the world have been thrilled to receive the news that there will be playoff hockey after all!  The Morning Hockey Club has announced the resumption of the celebrated Cardinal Richelieu Cup series this month, beginning Monday, September 17, in a repeat of the best of seven cup challenge played last year, with the Cup going to the (undeserving) Gold Weasels.

"I have to say it is a huge relief," said Boston Bruin Tyler Seguin, who has just extended his contract with the 2010 Stanley Cup champions.  "We don't seem to be getting anywhere in our negotiations for a new CBA.  It was looking like there may not be any top level hockey this season, or not until much later anyway."  Seguin's comments echoed those of many NHL players, though their enthusiasm seemed to dampen when this reporter told them they were not likely to be picked up by either of the MHC clubs for the Cup series.  "We understand that," said Bruin sparkplug Brad Marchand.  "We are not old enough or worn out enough to qualify for the MHC.  Maybe someday."

The teams for the famed flagon fixture were finally set this week by Gold captain Peter "Little Pete" Eremita.  He has petitioned the league to rename the Gold squad the "Honey Badgers," stating, "the weasel community objects to the use of the name 'Gold Weasels' as demeaning to weasels everywhere.  In respect for this we are asking the MHC to allow the name change."  No ruling has yet issued from MHC official circles, although MHC prexy Gerry Nadeau did allow the use of the name "Honey Badgers" in the official announcement of cup play.

If recent competition leading up the Cup series is any indicator, the competition should be fierce.  The last four Mondays in a row have seen the games between the Gold squad and the Blue Dogs decided by a single goal after the winning team has rallied to come from behind.  In future reports we will review the rosters and provide other reports on the upcoming classic.

In a related development Bro. Etienne DuFond of the religious foundation in France that has been the custodian of the sacred Richelieu Cup is said to be traveling to the United States to drop the puck on the opening faceoff.  Officials are scrambling to locate the Cardinal Richelieu Cup, which has not been seen since its delivery to the Gold Weasels last summer after the previous series.  One hopes that the Gold Weasels will not have to explain to Bro. Etienne the loss of the iconic ewer. 

-30- 

Correspondent R. Inkrat has been on hiatus due to shoulder surgery and a temporary (failed) transfer to the political beat.  Morning Hockey News has to settle for him to get  a story on the exciting developments reported above.