As Lockouts Threaten Fans Look to MHC for Relief

By Sal Palantonio, ESPN

NEW YORK, NEW YORK, JULY 24, 2011 - With no firm deal yet for the NFL season, and a strike or lockout looming for the NBA, sports fans everywhere are thanking their lucky stars for the Morning Hockey Club, which despite the odd controversy, continues to provide fans of sports worldwide with the purest and best competition available anywhere.

Although the excitement of the Cardinal Richelieu Cup Playoffs has subsided somewhat, hockey fans and sports fans generally eagerly follow the ice hockey exploits of the Morning Hockey Club and fan favorites like Jim Secunde, Matt Noone, Gerry Nadeau, Pete Eremita and, for the Scandinavians especially, Eric Lagios.

As the club enters a new week of play, some concerns continue to be raised about the eligibility of Gold Weasel players who apparently competed in the Cardinal Richelieu series without proper credentials.  NCAA spokesperson T. R. Anscripts said today,  "Even though the MHC is not a collegiate program, or is at best composed of former college hockey has beens, we at the NCAA take any actual or imaginary violation of player credentialing very, very seriously and we intend to investigate it thoroughly."  If the NCAA finds recruiting violations by the Gold Weasels that could result in sanctions, including the revocation of their recent Cup win.

And there is also lingering turmoil over Secunde's apparent violation of Club rules concerning proper treatment of the sacred Richelieu Cup.  Secunde has been fined $1B and 98 cents, which he has said he intends to pay "easily" with the raising of federal stimulus monies that would otherwise be dedicated to a scientific study of fisher flatulism in the Northeast woods.  An interesting side note, the fisher is a member of the weasel family, so the use of the grant funds to keep a Weasel on the ice seems fitting.

Gold Weasel player/coach Matt Noone is taking the matter seriously.

"We have discussed it and we have agreed that one year’s salary ($.23) will be forfeited for the upcoming season," Noone said in response to a reporter's question.  "The cup also will be returned to me and Jim has been fined 2 beers of my choice at a local watering hole of my choice.  I will be there Monday, have been fighting a bad neck strain, but will be there Monday to comment further."  A crush of media is expected at tomorrow's contest to follow up.

Fortunately for lovers of sport throughout the land and around the world,when the players get on the ice all of this is forgotten and sport at its purest and best is on display.  With no certainty of an NFL season and no NBA likely, thank goodness for the MHC!

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